just not today

just not today | alltheamusement.com

This is the weekend that the stars were supposed to align.

We had picked the date because it was a New Moon*: a time of fresh beginnings and new challenges. The start of the next chapter of life. This was the day that I’d finally get a check mark on that ungodly “Life Check-List”. The check-list that I have spent my entire life worrying about, and striving for – but mostly, of not measuring up against. It was finally my time.

And then I realized it wasn’t.  Continue reading

planting, creating, and self-motivating

I’m soul-searching. Again. It is aided by new experiences and I’m submersing myself into self-reflection, meditation and positive-thinking.

Have you ever gotten to the point that you’re just tired of not being in love with your life? You look around and see other people who are, and wonder why that isn’t you? You wake up and it’s the same today as it was yesterday, you question what will make you happy, and you search for answers in your heart to explain why you aren’t pursuing your dreams.

It’s a hard thing to do, pursuing dreams.

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mental health

If you met me for the first time today, you would never guess the struggles that I have overcome to get to where I am right now. I am confident, happy, sarcastic; I enjoy a nice glass of red wine, the stinkiest of blue cheeses, and expensive lattes.

A year ago, I was a different person. I had lost myself and everything that made me me. I felt ashamed of who I was and the paths I had taken – I was pregnant, unemployed, dating someone who was unfaithful and unkind. It’s been a tough road, climbing back up from that low-point. But I did it.

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