I need to start writing to you guys more. Not only because I miss writing, but also because this lovely little site is a costly affair. Just for your spectator enjoyment and my need to have a place to share, I’m now spending $200 a year! Seriously, they get you with those promo prices. But it just auto-renewed, so here we are.
It’s Friday night. And I’ll be honest with you, I’m already a couple of glasses of wine deep. I’m not sure how bad that really is – the bottle was from a vineyard in New Brunswick (Winegarden Estates) and their labeling is very similar to that of a make-your-own establishment; few details, and no percentage count. It could be really good news, or it could be juice – I guess only time will tell.
I started a post a couple weeks ago when I got home from my road trip with the man. I obviously wasn’t very on the ball with that one, since it never got finished. So now I’m wondering whether I fill you guys in on what I was typing back then and scrap the other one, or if I just wait until I return to it and finish it.
Who am I kidding? I should probably just fill you in now – it’s no secret – and god knows that I’ll never go back and finish a draft post. I found true love. Continue reading “becoming a mrs”
When the ground starts to shake
And I see pressure cracks forming
My heart beats faster and
It’s you that I run to Continue reading “home: a poem”
Snoop Dogg says it best, “I got my mind on my money, my money on my mind.” This has been me for at least the past 5 years of my life. After making some really poor financial decisions (never loan money and NEVER co-sign for anyone), the recovery process has been long and challenging. I am finally getting to the point where I feel confident with myself and my dolla billz. But these past few weeks have had my head spinning with thoughts about expenses, working poor, and wages. Continue reading “money talks”
Can true happiness be found when life’s decisions are rooted in logic and reason? Continue reading “deciding what not to be”
I’m a week in to my #30DaysofBrave Challenge and what I have learned so far is that a major roadblock for me living a fearless life is centered around communication. The times that I have felt both challenged and empowered over the past few weeks have been the times where I have had intentional conversations about uncomfortable subjects.
I have recognized that a life of fearlessness is not achieved by avoiding conversations that are difficult but important. Being fearless means facing these challenging situations head on.
I have always tried to be conflict-averse; to not rock the boat, hurt feelings, or seem needy/immature/demanding/etc. (this stems from being a person who deals with anxiety). When someone does something or says something that hurts me, I tend to harbour it deep down inside instead of just saying, “Hey, let’s talk about how that thing you said/did made me feel.” This goes for all my relationships: with family, friends, employers, colleagues, teachers.
As part of the #30DaysofBrave Challenge, I have been pushing myself to start these important conversations that push the boundaries of my comfort zone. I have shared my opinion of what I believe my value and worth is (I prepped by watching Casey Brown’s TedTalk “Know your worth and then ask for it.”). I shared the 5 Languages of Love assessment with my partner to start the discussion of how we express and feel loved. I have had to fess up to feelings of stress, fear, and exhaustion so that I can get the support and reassurance that I need to move forward.
Opening up is hard. Sometimes, difficult experiences can lead you to live a life of fear, of suppressed emotions, and of complacency. The only thing that can break this cycle is choosing to be brave.
Look in the mirror today and tell yourself, “I deserve the life that I want.” Only when you believe that will you be able to cultivate the spirit inside you to get it. Know your worth. Teach people how you expect to be treated. Tell people when they hurt you. Have uncomfortable conversations. Ask for that raise. And above all else, don’t be afraid to love. Nobody else can do this life for you, so it’s your job to make it a good one. Because you do deserve it.
Be fearless, my darlings.
I’m not sure how it happened. Maybe it stems from being bullied as a child. Or maybe it’s from my exposure to major health crises at a young age. It could be society’s influence. Or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I have spent the majority of my life filled with fear. And I must say, I’m getting pretty tired of it. Continue reading “from fearful to fearless”