honouring the heart

Snow is falling gently outside. The baby is napping soundly in the nursery. Christmas music is playing. Hot coffee is in hand. Life is good, and I have a few moments to reflect before the Christmas festivities are in full swing.

I don’t feel ready for Christmas, to be honest. I didn’t do it the way I wish I did. We were slow on the uptake of decorating. My gifts aren’t as thoughtful as I want them to be. I haven’t mailed our Christmas cards yet. We don’t even have stockings. But, we have each other. And we have a very blessed life. And we have 365 days until next Christmas Eve so at least I have time to do that one better.

For now, I just need to let it go. That’s what I’m going to spend 2019 doing. Continue reading “honouring the heart”

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then suddenly, it all works

I have spent much of my life regretting decisions I’ve made. I know I have had many conversations and written multiple blog posts proclaiming, “I live life with no regrets.” But nope, that wasn’t at all true.

From regretting that mean thing I said to a classmate in grade 5, to the “what ifs” surrounding past relationships, to my schooling and career path, to finances, I lived with A LOT of regret.

I was always stuck in the loop of what would have happened if I had done things differently.

And you know what? I seriously got me stuck, literally. Continue reading “then suddenly, it all works”

mom guilt is real.

Besides spending time with the little babe, the other thing that I spend most of my waking hours doing is feeling guilty. I guess this is normal? How long does it last? Will my daily meditation and gratitude practices help me get over this?

We’ll see.

Just for fun, I thought I’d list a bunch of things off the top of my head that I have felt guilty for over the past 6 months. You’ll see why my anxiety levels are pretty high when my mind is constantly on self-attack mode.

Things I feel guilty for:

Continue reading “mom guilt is real.”